


Love is Love

by Carmilla Tops (zistysfosgerald)



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, But Carmilla is confused, Death Threats, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gay Bashing, Graphic Description, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, I promise, It's not the end of the world, No Sex, Ofc is a bitch, Only in chapter four, Self-Harm, Suicide, They almost have sex, This is gonna hurt your feels, Too bad they don't, Well - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-04-03 02:43:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4083628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zistysfosgerald/pseuds/Carmilla%20Tops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura was completely out of the closet, and Carmilla wished she was too.</p><p>Will contain character death, homophobic terms, drama, suicide, and lots and lots of feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. august

**Author's Note:**

  * For [queen_tommo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_tommo/gifts).



Laura sat on the park bench, waiting for her best friend Carmilla to get out of the track meet. The park was the only place they were allowed to see each other -- since Carmilla's parents were severely homophobic, along with everyone in town.

"Hey!" Carmilla smiled as she walked up to Laura, this caused Laura to smile before getting up to hug her best friend.

"Don't hug the dyke! You might catch something!" an elderly woman yelled, and Carmilla saw the hurt in Laura's eyes. She felt guilty, and she wished she could do something about it. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do to help Laura's situation. Well, that was what she thought, anyway.

Laura stayed quiet as she sat down on the bench, waiting for the lady to pass by. But she stayed put just to make things worse for Laura.

"Sweety, you might turn gay if you're near her for long periods of time!" the lady said, and Laura began to tear up. She didn't want to be there anymore, and it was because she was finally beginning to crack.

"I'm okay, ma'am! I have a boyfriend, so don't worry!" Carmilla smiled, and the lady smiled back at her.

"Alright, have a good day... and as for you, you're going to hell if you don't turn back to a straight girl!" she snapped,p before walking away, and as soon as she was out of sight, she quickly got up.

"Where are you going?" Carmilla asked, walking quickly just to catch up with Laura.

"Home, what's the point of being outside when I'm being harassed? I mean, I really want to hang out with you, but I don't appreciate getting harassed by old ladies..." Laura admitted, and Carmilla sighed.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school?" Carmilla asked with a little hope in her voice. She was really hoping that Laura caught on, but she sadly didn't.

"Of course, Carm!" Laura smiled before walking away, leaving a very confused and needy Carmilla on her own.

That's when she got an idea to help herself, she knew it was going to work. So she called up her other best friend, Scotty, and asked him to come to the park.

Carm - Can you come to the park? It's important!

Five minutes later, she got a text back from Scotty.

Scotty2Hotty - Of course! I'll be there in ten to fifteen minutes!

Carmilla smiled to herself, and she was finally going to get the homophobic people off of her back. She didn't want anyone to know that she liked girls, so she was always careful not to look at them in the wrong way. Only because it could get her hurt -- or worse... killed.

"Hey, Carm... what's up?" Scotty said, and Carmilla smiled.

"I need you to date me -- and I mean fake date me," Carmilla said, and Scotty raised an eyebrow in confusion. He didn't know what she mean by that, although he did have an idea.

"What do you mean by 'fake date'?" he asked, and Carmilla rolled her eyes.

"I need you to pretend to date me... because... because I'm actually g-gay, and I don't want people to find out. Since they're already suspicious of me being one." Carmilla explained, and Scotty nodded, letting her know that he understood what she was explaining.

♤♡Monday♢♧

Carmilla watched as her best friend, Laura approached her with wide eyes. She knew Laura was going to be hurt, but it was for the best. This is for the best, Carm, Carmilla said to herself as she let go of Scotty's hand.

"When did you two become a thing?" Laura asked, her eyes were locked on Carmilla's.

She could definitely tell that Laura was hurt, but she had to stay strong.

"Saturday, we both confessed that we like each other, so he asked me out," informed Carmilla.

"Aw, I'm happy for you two!" Laura smiled, and Carmilla smiled back at her.

"I gotta go, I'll talk to you at lunch?" Laura asked, and Carmilla nodded.

Before Laura could say anything else, two cheerleaders bumped into her perpously knocking her books on the ground. "Watch it, dyke. Before I beat you up again like I did in sixth grade!" the brunette cheerleader barked, and Laura gulped before trying to pick up her diary. She went for that first because she didn't want them to get it.

"Oh, Sarah! Look what I see!" the blonde cheered as she reached for the diary.

"I see the dyke has a diary!" the brunette said in a sinister tone of voice before trying to reach it.

Carmilla stood and watched as they tried grabbing it. Thankfully, Laura got to the diary before any of them did. Rolling their eyes, the cheerleaders muttered, "We'll get that later, or else we're going to hurt you!" Walking away, they were out of sight in a matter of seconds. So Laura quickly picked up her books and ran to the bathroom. She had finally snapped, and it hasn't even been a month of twelfth grade yet.

"Go check on her, Carm... I would but knowing her she ran into the girl's bathroom, and I'm a dude, so yeah..." Scotty said, and Carmilla smiled and nodded before running after her.

♤♡Tuesday♢♧

Laura didn't go to school, and Carmilla didn't blame her. If she was out, she'd stay home a lot too. But thankfully she wasn't out, but she hurt for her best friend.

"Scotty, I really wish I could trade spots with her, I mean, I feel so bad when she's getting bullied for being her. It just not right, y'know?" Carmilla stated with a depressing sigh.

"All I can say is, you need to tell her the truth before it's too late. You really do, Carm," Scotty informed Carmilla, and she nodded.

"I will when I spend the night at her house this weekend." was all Carmilla said before walking to her gym class since she was already late to that.

♤♡Saturday♢♧

Carmilla didn't show up to Laura's birthday party and sleepover. In fact, nobody showed up, but Laura was used to it. No one was allowed to hang out with her because everyone's parents were homophobic. But to have Carmilla not show up, was heartbreaking.

"Aw, sweetie, I'm so sorry nobody showed up... maybe next time?" her mom said to try to make the situation a little bit better.

"Yeah, next time."


	2. September

♤♡Monday♢♧

After her failed attempt of a birthday party and sleepover, Laura had decided it would be best for her to not talk to Carmilla. She was still upset that she hadn't showed up after she said ahe would be there. But that's when she realized she was probably hanging out with her boyfriend, Scotty.

Every single time Laura would see Carmilla in the hall way, she would walk the other way. She didn't want to corrupt her, and she had to push back her feelings for Carmilla. It hurt her to see Carmilla with Scotty, and secretly, it hurt Carmilla.

Carmilla was best friends with Laura since they were in diapers. But ever since she had came out of the closet in seventh grade, everything went to shit for the both of them.

"Laura! Wait up!" Carmilla yelled from down the hallway, and Laura didn't even stop. She just kept walking, not even bothering to turn around an acknowledge her.

"Didn't you hear your only friend, dyke? Stop and wait for her!" a girl yelled, and that made Laura stop. She couldn't stand that slur, and so she snapped.

"What did you call me, bitch?" Laura snapped, instantly regretting that. Only because the girl that called her that was the captain of the rugby team.

"Listen here, dyke, you're going to respect me! And if you don't? Well, I'll show you!" the girl yelled back before picking Laura up with ease, and throwing her over her shoulder.

"Let me go! Help!" Laura screamed, but everyone just laughed and watch as the girl took her into the bathroom.

"You want to disrespect me? I'll show you what we do to gays here!" she snapped as she kicked Laura in the gut. Laura quickly fell to the ground as the girl started beating her up.

"Please... I'm sorry!" Laura pleaded, and the girl didn't stop. She kept hitting and kicking Laura until she passed out from the pain.

Leaving her a bloody mess, the captain of the girl's rugby team left casually after washing the blood off her hands. Once everyone left the area, Carmilla ran into the bathroom. Helping her up, Laura was awake, but dazed.

"Leave me alone!" Laura yelled as Carmilla helped her to the office.

"I'm not going to leave you alone, Laura! I'm going to drive you to your house and I'm going to help you wash the blood off of you!" Carmilla said in a serious tone, and Laura felt like she was going to puke.

"Fine, but I'm mad at you!" Laura said as Carmilla signed them both out.

"Why?" Carmilla asked in shock.

"You didn't show up to my birthday party and sleepover like you said you were going to!" Laura said, still trying to gain her composure as they made it to Carmilla's car.

"You know how my parents are! I told my sister I was coming, and she told my parents!" Carmilla explained, and Laura nodded.

"I'm sorry, Carm... I'm sorry for being gay," Laura apologized as Carmilla helped her into the car.

"Do not be sorry for being you, don't you ever apologize!" Carmilla snapped before getting in the car.

"Thank you for being there for me... I love you..." Laura said, and Carmilla's eyes went wide.

She didn't know what to say to that, and she was worried she was going to say something awful in return.

"I-I love you too, Laura... as a friend."

Laura stayed quiet at Carmilla's words, tears streaming down her bruised and bloody face. She wasn't crying because of anything Carmilla said, she was crying because of the pain.

♤♡Tuesday♢♧

Carmilla didn't see Laura at all, and that was probably because she was in the hospital for her injuries. She wanted to go see her, but her parents wouldn't allow her to.

"Do you want to go see her? I'll take you and we can just say we're going to get ice cream and to see a movie?" Scotty asked, and Carmilla nodded.

Getting there, Carmilla ran to Laura's room because she just had to see her.

"Laura?" Carmilla called out, tears in her eyes.

"Oh, hey, Carm! Come on in!" Laura smiled, to Carmilla, she looked mutated from the broken nose she suffered in the altercation. But she was still the same old Laura that she knew and loved.

"I'm really sorry -- at least Sarah got suspended for a couple days," Carmilla tried to make Laura feel better.  
"It's okay, it was my fault, I deserved the beating..." Laura teared up, and Carmilla leaned in to wipe away her tears.

"Hey, Laura, it isn't your fault. You did nothing wrong!" Carmilla reasured her, and Laura frowned.

"You don't get it, as long as I'm living, I'm a target. I really don't know if I can handle this anymore, Carm." Laura admitted.

"Don't say that, Laura! You mean a lot to the important people!" Carmilla said, and Laura shrugged.

"Thank you, but I don't think you know what it's like to be hated by the whole town..."

"I know I don't, but... I-I-you mean a lot to me, Laura!" Carmilla admitted, and Laura smiled.

"Thank you, Carm... I appreciate that," Laura thanked Carmilla with a hug.

"So when are you coming back to school?" Scotty asked as he walked in the door. Instantly, Laura's whole demeanor changed.

"Uh... I think next month, but I can't be too sure," Laura said, and Scotty looked at his watch.

"We gotta go, we're going to be late, Carmilla," Scotty said, and Carmilla got off the hospital bed.

"I'll see you later, Laura... love you!" Carmilla said before running out of the room.

"Love you... too."

With that, they were down the hall, and at the elevator. Laura felt depressed again as she turned on the tv. To take her mind off of the awful pain and her heartbreak, she decided to watch some reality tv. Thankfully, Laura's favorite show, Steve Wilkos was on.

Soon, Laura found herself falling asleep with a fake smile on her face. The truth was that she wasn't happy, and she knew she would never be until she was dead. But she held on to the saying of 'Everything gets better', because maybe it would get better for her.

Either way, she doubted it until it would actually happen.


	3. october

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains self-harm!

♤♡Monday♢♧

It was Laura's first day back, and everyone ignored her. She was glad she was being ignored, so they wouldn't be beating her to a pulp again.

"Hey, Laura, I'm glad to see you back today," Carmilla smiled as she pulled her best friend into a hug.

"Hey, Carm. I'm glad to be back," Laura lied, but Carmilla believed her.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that. Now, I have to go, or I'll be late and coach wouldn't like that at all." Carmilla explained before walking away to the girl's locker room.

Thank God she believed me, Laura sighed to herself before going to the bathroom. She had to do what had been keeping her sane for the past three weeks.

Running to the bathroom, Laura quickly locked herself in the handicapped stall. Since it was bigger, she needed space to do it. Grabbing the blade from her backpack, she pulled down her pants.

"One," she counted as she dragged the blade across her thigh. Instantly blood pouring from the wound, she clenched her eyes shut.

"Two," she counted again, this time not cutting as deep as the last one.

"Three," she counted before putting the blade back in her bag.

Grabbing a bunch of toilet paper, Laura wiped the blood that was dripping down her leg. Applying pressure on her leg, Laura began to cry because of how much it hurt.

Once the cuts stopped bleeding finally, Laura place a couple bandaids on them before pulling her panties and pants up. She was now ready for the day, and hopefully it wasn't obvious that she had been crying. As soon as she walked out of the stall, she saw two girls hanging out in the bathroom. So, being the brave girl she was, Laura was quick to walk out of the stall and up to the sink.

The blonde girl watched as Laura washed her hands, and that made Laura severely uncomfortable. She didn't know what was going to happen if she looked up at the girl. Looking down at the floor, Laura grabbed her bag and walked out of the bathroom.

Wiping her eyes, she accidentally bumped into a girl. Gasping, she put her arms up in defense.

"Please, I'm sorry... don't hurt me!" Laura backed up into the lockers without looking up.

"Why on earth would I hurt you? I actually came to talk to you," a female voice said, and Laura looked up to see who it was. To her surprise it was Alissa, the most popular girl in the school.

"Y-you came to talk to me, Alissa?" Laura asked shyly, and the Alissa nodded.

"So, I'm not out of the closet, but I'd like to date you..." she trailed off, and Laura smiled before replying to her statement.

"I'd love to date you too, Alissa." Laura smiled, and Alissa smiled back at her.

They were both unaware that Carmilla and Scotty were watching the whole thing go down.

"I'll see you later then?" Laura asked, and Alissa smiled before Laura walked away.

"Of course." Alissa said as Laura waved goodbye to her.

Once Laura was an out of sight, a group of popular girls came out of the bathroom. They started laughing with Alissa and Carmilla knew this was going to end badly for Laura. She had to warn Laura about their intentions before it was too late.

"Scotty, we have to tell her the truth before it's too late!" Carmilla shrieked and Scotty nodded in agreement as they left the area.

♤♡Tuesday♢♧

Laura was holding hands with her new girlfriend, Alissa. It made everyone laugh except for Carmilla and Scotty. They were disgusted by the whole thing, but every single time Carmilla would try to go near her, Alissa would threaten to out her. So both Scotty and Carmilla stayed quiet. Even though it killed Carmilla to just sit there and wait for Laura to get hurt, she didn't want to be outted.

"I can't watch this anymore, Carm. It's making me sick!" Scotty admitted in a loud tone of voice, and he let go of his "girlfriend's" hand. Running up to Laura and her girlfriend, Scotty grabbed Laura's hand.

"Hey!" Laura yelled as she let go of Scotty's hand.

"Why don't you tell her that you're making fun of her? Especially when she's nowhere in sight?" Scotty asked, and Alissa gasped.

"Why the hell would I do that? I love Laura!" Alissa lied as she grabbed Laura's hand.

"Is that so? Well, why did your sister beat her to a pulp then?" Scotty asked, and Laura's eyes went wide.

"Okay? That was my sister, not me." Alissa argued, and Laura felt like she was going to cry.

"That was your sister?" Laura asked in disbelief, and Alissa blushed at the sound of her question.

"Yeah... but I swear, I'm not like that!" she lied again, and Laura didn't know who to believe anymore.

"Stop, all of you stop!" Laura shouted before running away from the group.

Alissa looked around to see if ahe was still around before saying, "You're going to pay for ruining this joke, and what I mean by that is... my sister is going to beat Laura up after school,"

Walking away, Alissa couldn't help but laugh at Carmilla's shocked expression. She had to save Laura somehow, and she knew exactly what to do.

She was going to give Laura a ride home from school, for the first time in three years.

"Laura, wait up!" Carmilla called out, and Laura didn't stop. She ran to her class, and Carmilla instantly cussed at herself for being so stupid. Now Laura was going to get hurt again, and she felt like it was her fault.

♤♡Monday♢♧

Laura hadn't shown up for school at all, and it was starting to worry Carmilla. She didn't know what happened to her, but it couldn't be good.

"You okay, Carmilla?" Perry asked, and Carmilla sighed before shaking her head.

"What's wrong?" LaFontaine asked, and Carmilla shrugged without saying a word.

"Honestly? I'm really worried about Laura, okay? That's why I'm upset; you guys are my best friends, and I want to tell on you... but," Carmilla paused to look around before continuing her statement. "I'm scared."

"Scared of wha--" LaFontaine was saying before they were cut off by Perry.

"Sh, don't say anything more, LaFontaine, and that's because we already know what she's talking about," Perry whispered so only LaFontaine, Kirsch, and Carmilla could hear.

"Oh! Now I know..." LaFontaine smiled, and Carmilla smiled back.

"Yeah, and I'm in love with Laura, but I can't tell her." Carmilla said, and Perry raised an eyebrow.

"Why not?" Perry asked, and Carmilla rolled her eyes before answering the question.

"It's because she'd want to date me, and I'm not ready to come out yet." Carmilla admitted, and everyone else nodded in understatement.

"I gotcha, but you might want to at least hint it to her before she moves on,"

"Moves on? She doesn't like me like that..." Carmilla said awkwardly, and LaFontaine, Perry, and Kirsch laugh obnoxiously.

"You're funny -- it's clear as day that she's in love with you," Perry said, and Carmilla's eyes went wide with shock.

"That probably explains the fact that she always tells me she loves me... a lot."

"Yeah, that's why."

♤♡Tuesday♢♧

Laura still hadn't shown up for school, and Carmilla was really freaking out by now. She needed to talk to her, and tell her the truth.

The truth was that Carmilla was in love with Laura, and she realized that there was no hiding it to her anymore. But her question was that how in the hell was she going to tell her?

Hopefully it wasn't going to end bad...


	4. november

++Thursday++

Laura didn't show up to school until the twentieth of November. Nobody knew where she went to, and nobody cared. Except for Carmilla, and all her friends. They cared, but now Laura was a completely different person. She talked to no one, and kept to herself most of the time.

"Guys, I'm really worried about Laura," Carmilla said, and Perry nodded in agreement.

"Guys, come on, Will is about to beat her up!" a girl said, and Carmilla quickly jumped up off her seat.

"Will as in my stupid step brother?" Carmilla asked, and the girl nodded.

Running down the hallways until she found the large group of people surrounding the girls bathroom. "Move, come on move out of my way," Carmilla said as she pushed people out of her way.

"Will, what are you doing?" Carmilla asked as he pushed Laura against the wall. Hand around her throat, he laughed.

"My girlfriend said she fucking slapped her ass. Now, I'm going to beat the shit out of her." he said as he raised his fist. As he was about to connect with Laura's face, Carmilla stopped him by grabbing his arm.

"Carm, what are you doing?" he snapped as he let go of Laura's neck. Falling on the ground, Laura began to cry.

"Fine, but if she ever comes near my girlfriend again, I'll kill her!" he screamed before his friends, girlfriend, and him walked away.

Helping Laura up, Carmilla saw the deep cuts on her wrists. "Laura..." Carmilla whispered, and at that moment, they locked eyes.

"I-I'm sorry about Will, he's just... ugh." Carmilla apologized, and Laura gave her a faint smile.

Carmilla could tell that Laura wasn't okay, and it was obvious to everyone else too. She was skinner than before, and she had dark bags under her eyes. In a way, Carmilla felt guilty because she wasn't there for her best friend.

"It's okay, it's just, I didn't touch his girlfriend," Laura stated, and Carmilla smiled at her.

"I believe you, love." Carmilla gasped as soon as she realized what she had said. Laura's eyes widened, and that's when the captain of the soccer team walked up to the two. He didn't bother to acknowledge Laura, but he started to talk to Carmilla.

"I was thinking, would you like to be my girlfriend?" he asked, and Carmilla really wanted to say no, but that would definitely raise suspension.

"I would love to, Jack." Carmilla said with a fake smile, and that was when she noticed that Laura looked severely hurt.

Carmilla went to talk to Laura, but as soon as she said her name, Laura took off running. Ready to go after her, Carmilla was soon dragged away by Jack. Instantly, she regretted saying yes.

++++

Carmilla didn't see Laura in gym, and that began to worry her. It wasn't like Laura to skip classes, but she wasn't there.

++Monday++

Walking into the school, Carmilla was holding hands with Jack. She really didn't want to, and that was because he was making her feel uncomfortable. He would constantly talk about sex, and even asked if she'd have a threesome with him. She said she wasn't like that, and he laughed.

Letting go of his hand, she went to her locker. Usually Laura was there to greet her, but she wasn't there. Turning around, she saw Laura, and she shut her locker before going up to her.

Smiling, she said, "Hey, Laura!" with enthusiasm in her voice.

"Hi, Carmilla." she said coldly before walking away, and Carmilla was confused. Usually she'd call Carmilla: "Carm", but she didn't.

She looked at Perry, and Perry shrugged. "I have no clue why she's acting so cold." she stated, and Carmilla frowned.

"I think I know why," Carmilla admitted, still frowning because it was her fault. She needed to tell Laura the truth, but before she could, Jack walked up to Perry and her.

++++

Carmilla needed to stop the whole thing with Jack, but she didn't know how to do it nicely. Even though he didn't deserve nice, she was still going to be nice to him.

"Jack, I gotta get to class," Carmilla lied, and he gave her a dirty look.

"Look, I am only dating you because you're my beard. I know I'm your beard, so let's just keep it our secret. Okay?" he admitted, and Carmilla's jaw dropped. She wasn't expecting him to be anything near gay, but she wasn't complaining.

She did realize why he was trying so hard to be sexual with her. So she forgave him instantly. "So, I'm gonna get to class," she smiled friendly, but still awkwardly.

"See you later." he smiled, and they parted ways. Thankfully, she had Laura in this class.

Although she had Laura in her class, she didn't show up. "Has anyone seen Laura?" the teacher asked, and Carmilla raised her hand.

"Yes, Carmilla?" he asked, and she smiled.

"I'll go find her, I think I know where she's at." Carmilla lied, and he smiled at her.

"Yes, that would be great." he said, but she knew that he didn't buy it. He knew that Carmilla was in love with Laura, but he was different from everyone else.

He wasn't homophobic, and Carmilla was glad.

++++

Walking down the halls, Carmilla looked everywhere for Laura. She couldn't find her for some odd reason. That was when it hit her: she never looked underneath the bleachers.

Going out was thankfully not against school rules. Even though it seemed that Laura didn't care recently, but Carmilla did care. Walking slowly, and quietly towards the bleachers, Carmilla saw Laura. She was on the ground, curled up in a ball, and she was crying.

"Laura..." Carmilla whispered, and Laura turned around to look at her.

"Carm, I'm sorry..." Laura whispered back, and Carmilla gave her a small smile.

"No, Laura. I'm sorry, and I'm the worst friend ever. Please forgive me, I'm begging you." Carmilla pleaded, and Laura gave her a small, but cute smile.

"I forgive you, Carm." Laura said as she sat up. Carmilla helped her up before the two of them went to the bathroom.

"Could we possibly go somewhere in private?" Laura asked, blushing a little.

"Yes, of course! I know the perfect spot, follow me." with that, the two of them walked to the supply closet.


End file.
